If you don't hear from me it's just that I usually start at the beginning of the alphabet and then get tired about half way through and think...ah "F" it.
I am struggling here more than I have ever had in terms of adapting. I am just not getting the kind of support I need from the hotel. They seem willing to let me flounder out here on my own, at another hotel, (The Sun and (quik) Sand Hotel)and it's not really a 'room' I hope to be living in for the next 5 months. Walls are paper thin, and a connecting door to the guests next door. (One can hear everything) Phone conversations, TV, and lots of loud talking.
Last night, one of my non-working nights, (I have one a week and 2 everyother week) I had the Westin send me a hotel car to transport me. I was 'off', and wanted to go to my favorite Jazz/Music club, Shesha, near the hotel becuz a friend, drummer Adrian De Sousa, was playing there, so I had a driver from Westin come and get me.
I had a quick dinner at the WEstin hotel in my fav restaurant, Prego, and walked the short dangerous stretch to Shesha. At the same time I was walking the street, there was an Indian wedding going on, and that particular stretch was loaded w all sorts of wedding coaches, and horses and musicans and dancers, on coming traffic, and bycycles (with no lights) and motor scooters, and huge, ugly imposing trucks all honking, all not in lanes.
One really takes their life in their hands walking this short stretch, about one half block to the fun lane called ABC FARM, where all these cool clubs and restaurants are.
It's such an assault to ones senses, becuz it's so inhumane compared to the laws for pedestrians in the states. I really don't know how people survive it. But, in India pedestrians have no rights. Other than 'stay out of the way'. I brace myself and cling to the side as much as possible. Then when a 'side walk area' becomes possible, it's full of broken concrete, huge ditches they're digging up for some up and coming sewer system, and chunks of hard dirt. I'm glad I brought my cowboy boots!
Well, it's a new day, and yes you're right. I think the Universe is telling me something.
Stand up for your rights, and don't let the Indians push you around. One friend I met here told me " don't forget what you came from!" I said 'what's that?'
He said "you descended from a country of TYRANTS and bullies. (Yea)Don't be PUSHED around by them! You're an AMERICAN!!!
I liked hearing that. (He's a New Yorker hanging around Pune, and we met at Shesha)
I only wish I had had the power within me to have NOT MOVED OUT of my pleasant hotel room at the Westin that one night they asked me too after singing. Just to see what would happen. But I caved. Things would be very different now.
But, they're like crazy people. It seems ironic that such a 'classy hotel, prided on it's hospitality' would do THAT to their visiting 'artist'! I shared it with several guests too. I loved watching their incredulous responses, but also feel badly that I'm relagated to such a standard by them.
The doorbell to my room here at the Sun and Sand is like electro shock. The most weird sound, and the telephone is even worse. Ah Hotel life.
Things are seeming to deteriorate for me. Also the stress of getting around. I'm getting good at rickshaw 3 wheeler transport. But, I don't take it at night. At night I take a hotel car.
Visited the Osho Ashram yesterday and it was pleasant except I had to go through the 3 hr morning intro to the place. I couldn't track all the new info I was getting: "white socks on the "raw" marble mediation rock. (you must buy a pair of white socks, luckily they have a shop on the campus where you can purchase them for about $1.25) I made the mistake of buying red socks. (I don't know what's wrong with me today?)
I also had to buy a maroon long robe like dress. Because the computer was glitching in my registration I was told to 'HURRY AND GO BUY YOUR ROBE'. I bought the first one I found, and it was so ugly, I felt terrible in it. It reminded me of something my mother use to wear. Empire waiste, loose, hanging large shortish sleeves, where you could hide a gun or a puppy, and so matronly. I felt so ugly that day.
I brought so much makeup I can't organize it, and when I go to put it on, I can't see. Lighting is dim. Everywhere. I also feel like I can't read anything either.
It's like a frustrating dream here where you're trying so hard, yet nothng, I mean nothing works out right. I am thinking...have I turned a corner and now, I'm unattractive and there's very little I can do to improve? It's frightening. It's OUT OF CONTROL.
I need to get through this. Not sure what to do.
I was thinking a lot about people who've passed a way during the mediations. And how I could feel their energy. Some interesting thoughts. I should write them down and send them in a blog for special friends. When you alter yourself enough through jumping around and shaking, (an exercise they have you do) you actually can talk to the dead! It was a lot of fun. I got in touch with a few people I'd been hoping to converse with. It was charming.
How is the snow? I hope yr warm enough. While visiting the Osho ashram yesterday I was one of the only people swimming in this big beautiful pool with all the meditators hanging around the pool edge...zoned out, smoking, eating organic food...it's a real international scene. Met some cute people from Argentina. I should hang out there more often. But, I have a lot of issues with my gig
Am struggling here more than I have ever had in terms of adapting. I am just not getting the kind of support I need from the hotel. They seem willing to let me flounder out here on my own, at another hotel, and it's not really a 'room' I hope to be living in for the next 5 months.
Well, it's a new day, and ye I think the Universe is telling me something.
Go feed the dogs on the street, take some photos, work out, organize your music, and makeup…try to be in the now, and loving every moment of life.
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